DBZ Holiday Saga
by bra twilight
Summary: This is an INSANE story about DBZ characters celebrating the holidays. And beware of Calculus and Algebra! Beware of plays and evil big brothers as teachers! Beware of That Mirai Brat! Beware! This is PG for some cursing. The story's insane. Now yo
1. Thanksgiving

DBZ Holiday Saga 

Episode 1: 

A Very DBZ Thanksgiving 

NOTE: Trunks, Marron, Goten, Bura, and Pan are all in 9th grade for the sake of the plot. 

OTHER NOTE: Marron haters, you're gonna love this. Marron lovers, get outta here unless you don't mind Marron getting bashed. And no flames or else. You have been warned. 

YET ANOTHER NOTE: I wrote this with the help of ~*ripple-chan*~, I think that's her name now. I hope it is. Also, another warning, this fic is HUMOR HUMOR HUMOR all the way. It is NOT serious and you will PROBABLY be LAUGHING YOUR HEAD OFF HYSTERICALLY THE WHOLE TIME. 

Goten was trying to do his algebra homework. "Mom, what's this problem?" "Mom, what's that problem?" To cut it short, Goten does not understand algebra. 

"Mom, is Bura named after algebra?" 

"Goten, SHADDAP!" 

Goten cowered in his seat, putting a book on top of his head. Just then the door opened and Pan, Videl, and Gohan walked in. Pan giggled at the sight of Goten underneath his book. 

"Ha ha, I finished hours ago!" 

"Unlucky for me, I'm no Math genius like you and Trunks! I don't get what the heck this stupid 'x' means!" 

"It means 453,353,254,464 to the thirty-fifth power," Pan replied, smirking. Goten got a huge sweatdrop. "So I multiply it by um..." He tried to figure out which of the thousands of numbers on the page you multiplied it by but failed miserably. 

Then, the Briefs Vejita family saw fit to enter. Upon seeing Goten, Trunks and Bura dissolved into helpless giggles. "Goten, I told you how to do it yesterday. Is your memory that short-term?" 

Trunks formed a ki blast in his hand and evilly shot it at Goten. "I guess you won't get a decent part in the dumb play we gotta do." 

Goten shielded himself with the textbook, which blew up. "Dang you Trunks! You ruined my book for the thirty-fifth time!" He stopped, then grinned. "Hey...if I don't have a book, I don't have to do my algebra! Yeah!" 

Bura smiled. "You can use mine, Goten!" Goten groaned in despair. 

Gohan loomed over him like an evil shadow. "You could get an F in Math Goten." Goten moaned. "BUT MOMMY WOULD KILL ME AND CRUCIFY ME AND BURN ME ALIVE AT THE STAKE AND TRY TO BLAST ME TO PIECES AND CHAIN ME TO MY DESK AND KEEP ME AWAY FROM ALL MY FRIENDS AND MAKE ME DO MATH ALL DAY AND BE REALLY EVIL AND MEAN AND I DON'T WANT THAT SO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT O DUMB BIG BRO THAT I DON'T WANT FOR A TEACHER BUT I HAVE ANYWAY AND I HATE SCHOOL AND I HATE HOMEWORK!!!" Goten managed to say this all in one breath. 

Trunks looked stupefied. "Dende Goten. You must be really dumb." He shook his head sadly. "Wouldn't want to be you when your mom sees your report card. I added up your grades into an average and you have a 0.232 average." 

Bulma stuck her head in the doorway. "YOU HAVE WHAT!!??" Goten ducked under the desk. 

Chi-Chi walked into the room having heard Bulma's loud shriek. "SON GOTEN, WHAT DID YOU DO NOW? I WANTED TO HAVE A PERFECT THANKSGIVING CELEBRATION AND NOW YOU'RE RUINING IT SO YOU BETTER TELL ME WHATEVER HAPPENED NOW OR I'LL BURN YOU AT THE STAKE AND MAKE YOU WEAR A BARNEY SHIRT TO SCHOOL AND TELL GOHAN TO MAKE YOUR PART IN THE SCHOOL PAGEANT THE WORST AND MY GOHAN-CHAN IS SUCH AN OBEDIENT SON SO WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE HIM AND YOU HAVE TO SPEND MORE TIME ON YOUR SCHOOL WORK AND I'M GOING TO THROW AWAY YOUR PLAYSTATION AND CRUCIFY YOU AND GIVE YOU NO MORE VIDEO GAMES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND GROUND YOU UNTIL YOU ARE ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD AND MAKE YOU BE LIKE MY PERFECT GOHAN-CHAN AND YOU BETTER BEHAVE MISTER!" She also said all this in one breath. 

Goten froze. "Nooo Mom, not the BARNEY SHIRT!!!!!" 

Everyone in the general vicinity cracked up. Then a loud explosion was heard outside. 

Everyone rushed out the door to see what it was. To their utter shock and surprise, Mirai Trunks was standing on top of Vejita with a huge sweatdrop. 

"..." Everyone was speechless for a few seconds, then... 

"OH! MIRAI NO TRUNKS!" Bulma yelled, completely ignoring the howls of agony Vejita was giving out. 

Mirai Trunks looked inside, very puzzled at the sight of an irate Chi-Chi standing over someone who looked like Goku and yelling her head off while he cowered in terror. 

"Um...who's that?" 

Trunks stepped up to his older double and laughed. "Oh, that? That's Goten. He's an idiot. Chi-Chi's yelling at him 'cause he has a 0.232 average on his math grade." 

"Oh. What an idiot," Mirai Trunks agreed, then did a double take. "Hey! Who ARE you; you look just like me!" 

"I could say the same thing," Trunks retorted. 

Pan stepped in between them and pointed to Mirai Trunks. "Who are you?" 

"I'm Trunks," he replied. 

"No, _I_'m Trunks!" Trunks said. 

"No, I'm Trunks." 

"ME!" 

"No, ME!" 

Pan watched them yelling at each other and finally said, "Trunks. Trunks. Both of you shut up." 

Vejita stood up, rubbing dust off his blue gi. "Oh NOOOO... That Mirai Brat!" 

Trunks got a bit of a clue. "_Oh_... That must be that-dumb- alternate-dimension-from-the-far-off-future-where-the-androids- terrorized-the-universe-and-almost-everyone-died-and-cities- were-destroyed-and-Capsule-was-one-of-the-last-safe-places-me. I get it now." 

Pan fell down. "_I_ don't. Why does everybody have to say everything in one breath? At least you didn't shout it at the top of your lungs." She winced. "Dang Saiyajin hearing." 

Mirai Trunks looked mildly surprised. "I never met anyone who described myself in this dimension the same way I do. Weird. I guess you're that-little-kid-grown-into-a-teenager-me." 

"Whatever," said Vejita. "What I want to know is, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE HERE!! I THOUGHT HE WAS GONE FOREVER AND WE COULD FINALLY GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET AROUND HERE!!!!" 

Pan winced. "Not with you, Goten, and Chi-Chi yelling all the time. Dang Saiyajin hearing." 

"You know," Trunks began. "Why the heck did you have to come before Thanksgiving? Now I might have less food. You totally suck." 

Mirai Trunks smirked. "And let my _little_ brother get all the food. I think not." 

Bulma stepped in between them and shoved them both down on the ground. "SHADDAP BOTH OF YOU! VEJITA'S BAD ENOUGH, BUT OH NO NOW I HAVE THREE CHILDREN AND NONE OF THEM ARE YOUNG ENOUGH TO GIVE ME A GOOD ILLUSION OF STILL BEING VERY YOUNG AND YES THERE WILL BE ENOUGH FOOD I'LL JUST ORDER EVERYONE SAIYAJIN 234,454,345,545,676,454,454,254,245,454,345 PIZZAS TO SHARE!" 

"Is anyone else coming?" Bura asked. "I mean, I know it's us and the Son family"--she ignored an outrage from her father--"anyone else?" 

"Hai, I was thinking of inviting Kuririn, Juuhachi, and--" 

She was cut off by a scream from Trunks. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MARRON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Bulma looked at him sharply. "Yes, Marron." 

Trunks looked at her weirdly. "You mean Little Miss I'm-in-love-with-Trunks-and-Trunks-is-mine-mine-mine? Great, Mom. Now you just ruined MY holiday." A grin spread over his face as he imagined all the things he could do to Marron that would make her very very sorry she ever had that stupid crush on him in the first place. 

Bulma glared at her son. "Trunks, I expect you to be--" 

"I know, patient and civil and kind and evil and diabolical and nasty and cruel and show offy and cool and mental and evil and evil and evil and I guess I should show her not to mess with me." 

An idea hit him. "Oh bigger me!!!" he yelled. "How about doing me a little favor?" he asked, with a diabolical grin on his face. 

"NO." 

"Fine. I'll just have to think of some way to blackmail you into taking Marron off my hands. Or maybe I won't have to. I'm SURE the idea of a bigger, better 'Kawaii Trunks-chan' would appeal to her," he said sarcastically, with the usual smirk. 

"Oh no." 

"Or maybe I could dump her on you and then run off and have Thanksgiving in that spaceship I built yesterday after my ALGEBRA homework. Ha ha ha." He shot an evil glance at Goten, who started bashing his head into the wall. 

Pan smiled with an equally scheming expression. _You know, it's not like I can't stow away again. I wonder how good a spaceship builder he is..._

Trunks saw the 'let's blackmail Trunks' look on her face. He blanched. "I better blow up all my old photo albums so YOU can't get to them." 

"Oh, that's not what I was thinking of...this time." Pan looked up at him sweetly and innocently. "I was just going to ask you if you would be _nice_ and take me with you. 'Cause if you don't, I'll tell my daddy you said no. And I'll also tell older you about the time--" Her words were cut short by Trunks clapping a hand over her mouth. 

"Okay, okay, I'll take you with me as long as you remember not to breath a word to Marron so I can dump her on older me." 

Pan rolled her eyes. "Tell _her_? Are you CRAZY? Every time she sees you looking at me, she shoots me a couple of 'glares of death'." 

Trunks sighed in relief. "I must say though, I think I'm cursed." 

Pan looked thoughtful for a minute. "Well...I have this _feeling_ that something is going to get her very very mad soon..." 

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! WHAT IF SHE TELLS MY MOM I'LL BE SO DEAD SO FAST YOU COULDN'T SAY TRUNKS CAUSE MOM WANTS ME TO BE NICE TO HER AND IF I GET HER MAD SHE'LL MAKE MOM TAKE ME OUT ON A DATE WITH HER AND THAT WOULD BE SO TORTUROUS I'D HAVE TO DROP THE DIRTY DEED ON OLDER AND BIGGER AND WEIRDER ME!" 

"Hey, I didn't say she'd be mad at _you_. Besides, it isn't _your_ fault--Oops. I forgot. I'm not supposed to tell you yet." 

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!! WHO'S OUT TO KILL ME NOW! DENDE WHY I AM I SO CURSED AND WHY CAN'T WE ACTUALLY HAVE A _NICE _GOD FOR ONCE?" 

Dende appeared with a smile. "You're cursed because I had to curse someone and Goten is too dumb to curse and I'm mean because its fun to be mean and nasty and evil and diabolical and plotting." 

Trunks got the 'I-just-got-a-very-evil-idea' look in his eye. "What if I dye you pink with permanent dye and then barbecue you at the next Briefs Vejita lamo family picnic?" 

Dende disappeared quickly. 

Mirai Trunks looked thoughtful. "Why don't I just tell this Marron kid my oh so _kind_ little bro is planning a spaceship getaway and she's not invited?" 

"'Cause I'd kill you so fast you couldn't even say Trunks oh so _kind_ big bro." 

Vejita's stomach growled. He looked at Bulma. "Woman, we gotta get home now so you can make dinner." 

Bulma glared at him. 

"Why can't anyone address me with the proper respect I deserve?" she wailed loudly. 

Trunks nodded. "Can we leave my dumb big brother on a boat in the middle of nowhere and hide our ki so he can't find us?" 

"No we can't Trunks." 

"Dang." 

Bura smiled. "Oh big older older brother... Can you do all my homework for me so I can go over Pan's house and plan the spaceship thingy?" 

"No." 

"You're no fun at all," said Bura, pouting. "Other big brother, tell him he has to!" 

Trunks grinned evilly. "Well, of course." 

Mirai Trunks made a face. "Dende I came here to have some fun and eat all your Thanksgiving dinner, not to do peoples homework and have annoying Marron brats dumped on me." 

Trunks and Bura grinned identical evil grins. "Too bad." 

All the crazy people at the Son house finally went to their respective houses to eat a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot of food. 

And finally, on page 9, we get to the point. Sort of. 

Gohan, the teacher for Trunks, Bura, Goten, Pan, and the dreaded Marron, was FINALLY announcing the parts for the annual Thanksgiving pageant. "Marron is cast as... an Indian woman. Trunks is cast as..." 

Marron glanced over to the bored demi-saiyajin hopefully. 

"John Alden." 

She burst into tears and had to go to the bathroom to dry them off. Gohan scratched his head, gave the famous Son grin, and continued. "Pan is cast as... Priscilla Blake." Marron, who was returning to the room, fell down in the doorway in a dead faint. When she came to, she was shouting at Pan in front of the entire grade, who began laughing crazily. 

"PAN YOU BRAT HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY KAWAII TRUNKS-CHAN I'M GONNA KILL YOU AND SLICE YOU UP AND SKEWER YOU AND THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW AND KILL YOU AGAIN AND BASH YOU AND, UM....." 

"Danged Saiyajin hearing," was all that Pan said for a moment. "Oh, and Marron? I'd like to see you try." 

Trunks groaned. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DENDE I HATE YOU YOU'RE SO EVIL AND MEAN AND NASTY I'M CURSED WHY ME WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CURSE GOTEN CUZ I'M SICK OF MARRON AND BAD LUCK AND DUMB NEW BROTHERS THAT MAKE MY DAD IN A BAD MOOD BUT AT LEAST I CAN MAKE THEM DO WHATEVER I SAY DENDE YOU'RE THE WORST GOD ALIVE I'M GONNA COME AND KILL YA AFTER SCHOOL'S OUT!!!" 

"Everybody is gonna totally kill their voices if they keep talking like that," Pan noted sarcastically. 

Gohan glared at the class to shut them up. It didn't work. After about half an hour there was finally moderate silence. He continued reading out the roles. "Goten is Miles Standish." 

"What?" 

"I said you're Miles Standish little brother and you are or else I'll tell Mom. Then she'll make you wear a Barney shirt to school." 

The entire class erupted into fits of laughter for another 30 minutes. 

"Bura is Mrs. Standish." 

"Huh?" 

"NANI?" Trunks yelled. "That's MY LITTLE SISTER!!!???" He shot a death glare at Goten. If looks could kill, Goten would be dead a thousand times. "You hurt my sister and you DIE, Son Goten." 

Goten cowered under his desk and Gohan sighed. "Unfortunately I'll have to keep the class 30 minutes after school. Why can't you idiots just shut up?" 

He glanced at Pan and Trunks. "Oh by the way, you have to kiss." 

"WHAAAAT!!????" 

Gohan abruptly whacked Marron upside the head as she began screaming again. 

Trunks fell down. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU GOHAN SON?! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE A TREE OR SOMETHING CURSE YOU DENDE!" 

Gohan glared at Trunks. "Because I said so." 

"Hey wait a minute? Is it legal to make us?" 

"I could tell your mother you refuse Trunks. She'd make you, uhh... what is it she makes you do again?" 

"Go on a date with Marron. So far he hasn't had to." Bura said matter-o-factly. 

Marron looked at Trunks hopefully. Trunks shot a ki blast at Bura. After a moment's consideration, he sent more at everyone in the room, particularly Marron. 

Pan and Goten started doing it too and Marron was mostly everyone's prime target. 

"Actually, Gohan," Trunks began smiling. "You happen to be forgetting my dumb brother who's only good for things I don't want to do." 

After school and the 30 minutes detention, five teens greeted their parents with death glares when they got home. 

"Mommeeee, why does that mean Pan get to kiss Trunks?!!! It should be ME! Go back and make them change it!!!" Marron wailed to her mother. 

"No." Marron was rewarded with a stern glare. 

"BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!" 

Over in the Son household, "Mommeee, if I look at Bura the wrong way, Trunks will kill me! Can't you get Gohan to change the parts?"  
  
"Of course not. My perfect Gohan-chan decided them, and I'm sure he did it perfectly. YOU just are ashamed that you don't hold a candle to your big brother." 

Goten stuck his tongue out at Gohan, who was talking with Pan. 

"Daddy! I don't want to have to kiss Trunks! Besides, you humiliated both of us in front of the whole class!" she moaned. "Granted, you embarrassed Marron and Uncle too, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" 

Gohan smiled. "Well, you don't want to look like a coward by backing out, do you? You'd look worse if you backed out! Trunks, that lazy bum, will probably try to get Mirai Trunks to do it. But I already told Mirai Trunks to say 'no' no matter what those two idiots tell him!" 

And finally, in the Briefs Vejita household... 

"NANI!!!!????" Vejita screamed until he was blue in the face. "MY son, kiss Kakkarot's grandbrat?!!! HOW DARE YOUR EVIL TEACHER DO THAT I'LL KILL HIM AND BLAST HIM AND CHOP HIM UP INTO LITTLE PIECES!!!!!!!!!!"  


"At least I don't have to lay a finger on Marron," Trunks muttered. "That would be worse. She's not even Saiyajin at all. Besides," he smirked at his little sister, "I didn't tell you about Bura and Goten's parts... They're married!" 

Vejita immediately began screaming and cursing again. 

Bulma walked into the room covering her ears. "QUIT THE SHOUTING VEJITA! What happened anyway to make him shout so much?" 

Vejita began to explain. "Bura and Kakkarot's brat have to be MARRIED in their DUMB Thanksgiving pageant and Trunks and Kakkarot's grandbrat have to KISS in it! Oh, DENDE, MY FAMILY IS CURSED!" 

Bulma smiled. "Isn't that such a cute idea?" 

"IT IS NOT!" All the other members of her family, aside from Mirai Trunks, screamed at her, cursing all the way. 

Mirai Trunks smirked. "Mom, can I have a video-camera? I want to catch their _adorable_ kissing scenes on tape!" 

"Of COURSE you can! I'm glad SOMEONE agrees with me on this!" Bulma assured him. 

Trunks smiled at his mom. "But Mommy, he's gonna use it to BLACKMAIL me and you said no blackmail with video-cameras. So according to your own rules, he CAN'T." 

"Then I'll just take pictures. That's not a _video camera_,_" _Mirai Trunks said. 

Bulma was adamant. "This is a special occasion. We can make an exception to the rule just this once." 

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Shimatta MOMMY! I CAN ALWAYS RUN AWAY TO SPACE EARLY AND CONQUER THE UNIVERSE! DA** YOU!" 

"Watch your language Trunks." 

"But MOMMY, I have never once heard you tell daddy or Bura that, and YOU curse more than ALL OF US PUT TOGETHER!" 

"Well you are cursed for life. Dende said so," Bulma replied. 

"Then I'll kill my self and get Bura to resurrect me with the Dragon Balls. Then I'll have a NEW life." 

"I will ground Bura if she tries to wish you alive again. Besides, she's not allowed to go hunting for the Dragon Balls." 

Bura grinned. "Oh, and big brother: I'm SURE _Marron _would want to. I think I'll let her do the honors. Then you would be forever in debt to her and probably have to marry her." 

"I CAN run away and NEVER COME BACK, o UNCARING mother. I'll go to SPACE and CONQUER the UNIVERSE and tell EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE HOW EVIL YOU ARE!" 

"While you are gone, I will wreck your Playstation 2." 

"Then I'll bring it with me on MY NEW spaceship. Also my GameCube, computer, Pocket PC, clothes, and all that boring stuff. Maybe I'll even take my NEW PORTABLE gravity room. _But_ I could _also_ call in Child Abuse and get you sent to jail, o EVER UNCARING mother. Oh, wait a sec, I gotta go kill Dende!" Trunks stormed out of the room. 

Vejita stood shocked. "Um, fill me in: Exactly WHAT were you talking about?" 

Bura looked at him and shrugged. 

Bulma glared at the doorway. "VEJITA, GO TO KAMI'S LOOKOUT AND GET THAT DUMB TRUNKS!" 

"Why should I? He has the right idea: Kill Dende for cursing our family." 

Up at Kami's Lookout... 

"NO NO NO NO NO! The sign has to say Dende's Evil Curse Everybody Land!" Dende shouted at Mr. Popo. 

"Hey Dende." Trunks greeted the green Namekian god. "I almost forgot to come and kill you." He went Super Saiyajin. 

Dende panicked. "Oh NO! SON GOHAN! SAVE ME FROM THE TERROR OF TRUNKS, _NOW!_" 

Gohan appeared, looking weary and sleep-deprived. "Trunks, go home. Bulma's looking for you." 

"Who gives a da**?" Trunks retorted nastily. "I gotta kill Dende. Then my curse might reverse." 

"But Bulma is about to storm over and kill you. I'm trying to save you." 

"She wants to kill me! YEAH! Gohan, you have to promise you'll get someone other than Marron to resurrect me with the Dragon Ball, okay?" 

Gohan nodded, dumbfounded. 

Trunks blasted Dende with one of his 'double flashs'. Then Bulma stormed in looking very, very, very, very, very mad. 

She tried to pull Trunks by the ear, but, obstinate as he was, Trunks did not budge an inch. He merely chuckled. "VEJITA! GET IN HERE NOW AND GET TRUNKS IN THE PLANE!" Bulma shouted at the top of her lungs. 

Trunks blasted Dende once more and shot like a bullet to some other place. 

"Great, just great. We lost him." Bulma muttered under her breath. "VEJITA YOU SLOWPOKE!" 

Trunks was meanwhile escaping to his secret place in the mountains where he went when everything in the world went wrong. 

This was just not turning out to be a good day for him. He was DEFINATELY going to the spaceship early. But something told him he'd be acting like a coward if he chickened out of the Thanksgiving pageant. Bura would also never let him hear the end of it. 

So he returned to Capsule Corp, unaware that he had been watched by the sneaky green Namek in orange booties, Piccolo. 

Back to the Son household... 

"TRUNKS TRIED TO WHAT??!!" Goten shouted at the top of his lungs to his older brother. "That's what I said," Gohan replied tiredly. 

"Dende, my class is hopeless. Although Dende, you're gonna die soon." Gohan said. 

"OHMIGOD! Trunks tried to KILL DENDE!" Pan shrieked and dissolved into giggles. "THAT was DUMB! And you say BULMA was LOOKING for him to KILL him! WEIRD!" 

"Oh, my poor perfect Gohan-chan, how your class must torment you? Throwing ki in class... Ridiculous! Bulma's good for nothing son is such an idiot!" 

"Heck, I'm glad I'm no Briefs Vejita!" Videl said with a large sweatdrop rolling down the side of her head. "I have this odd feeling we're being watched..." 

"Hey, now that you mention it, I do too!" Pan exclaimed. "Hmm..." 

Goten looked at a piece of a white cape outside the closet. He opened the closet and found the evil Namek in orange booties, Piccolo! 

"OH NO! NOT THE EVIL NAMEK IN ORANGE BOOTIES!" Pan and Goten and Videl and Chi-Chi shouted together. 

Gohan merely laughed. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" 

At Capsule Corp... 

"So, let me get this straight Trunks... Y-you're seriously thinking of really going up into space f-forever a-after the Th-Thanksgiving p-play?" Bura spoke out through her sobs. 

"Hai." 

"But brother of mine, you can't do that! We were gonna do it together! NO!" 

After a few weeks of countless arguments, battles, shouts, curses, dinners, school, and homework, its finally the day of the Thanksgiving pageant--the day Trunks is leaving Earth forever. 

Pan got into her costume, getting Bura to button it up in the back. "So... he's really leaving today, ne?" 

Bura nodded, her blue eyes blurring with tears. "He really is. We tried to talk him out of it but... he's going. I always knew he would leave us one day, but... NOT NOW!" 

Pan tied her apron in the back. "Nasty, I know. Wish he weren't really going. Maybe... we could try to change his mind again!" 

"No... his mind's made up..." Bura smiled sadly. "You don't have to worry about it anymore..." 

Meanwhile, Trunks and Goten were in their costumes and talking privately. "So you're really going, ne?" "Hai." 

"Harsh."  


"I know." 

"Shimatta, Trunks, we're being such idiots. Why do you have to run away and why am I not wailing my head off? Curse you Dende!" 

"I... No one... I.... Uh... Like..." Trunks stuttered on and on. "Fine. I don't know. Happy, Goten?" 

"No. You don't need to go. Why can't you just talk to your mom?" 

"You wouldn't understand Goten. It would be like giving up on myself. I don't know it's just... Here, I have an idea! Get someone to give me a VERY good reason to stay and I'll wait, okay?" 

"Hai!" 

Gohan called the audience to attention. "The 9th grade has put on a Thanksgiving pageant for you on the story of Thanksgiving itself. Not the food, or sometimes gifts, but the true meaning." 

The audience clapped because, well, they were expected to. 

The first scene began. The Pilgrims were on the Mayflower, going to the New World. John Alden gave a speech: "It is not what we are told to do. We are doing what WE want to do, not what everyone else wants us to do. It is people like us who built the world, not cowards who just did whatever they were told. Our world is made up of both rebels and conformists." 

Miles Standish nodded. "That's true. Our, uh, um, er, aha! story is about to begin!" 

"Hai. It is only with leaving that there can be a new chapter in the book of life." Priscilla Blake spoke up. 

The play went on until they were at the New World. An Indian woman was feeding her baby on the banks of a river and the Indian Squanto began talking about what Trunks would call "boring stuff". 

The group landed, and had a horrible rough time. Many people died and only half the original number survived. 

Mrs. Standish grew sick, but survived. 

Beautiful Priscilla Blake nursed the sick. 

John Alden did something. 

Soon, it was the year 1621. The Pilgrims were preparing a feast of "Thanksgiving" to give thanks to God. 

Under his breath, John Alden cursed out Dende. 

Finally, the time of the DA DA DA *kiss* was here. John and Priscilla leaned in towards each other and... 

The Indian woman dropped a bucket of sand over Priscilla's head. "MARRON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Priscilla screeched nastily, or should I say Pan did. 

Pan was now covered in sand from head to toe and Marron was grinning like the Chesire Cat. It was funny, if you looked at it from an outsider's point of view. 

John Alden, aka Trunks, just stood there gaping as Gohan quickly closed the curtain. "Shimatta, Marron, why'd ya have to go and ruin it? Now we'll probably be in detention for the rest of our lives!" 

Pan nodded angrily. "Marron, I don't know what I'd rather do to you, blow you up, or barbecue you." 

Marron ran out of the curtains crying and went to her car. Trunks shrugged. "Guess its over. Hey Pan, did ya hear I told Goten if he could find anyone to give me a legit reason to stay, I'd delay my trip until I get out of college." 

"NANI?!" Pan's eyes magnified. "Trunks, you'd kill us all if ya left. We'd be like really sad and like, I dunno how we'd live without you to curse Dende and blackmail Mirai and like..." She collapsed, sobbing. 

"I, Trunks, I... I love you." 

She embraced him and he kissed her. Gohan let the stage be visible and the whole audience let out a big 'awww'... 

Except for Vejita, who had something to say on the matter. "If that's his choice, then... I guess its the best choice." 

The crowd burst out into applause at his words and at the tender scene up on the stage. 

Mirai Trunks was filming avidly with glee and Bulma sighed happily. "Mirai, I'm gonna steal your film... This is so _kawaii_!" 

Trunks and Pan broke their kiss to see the audience applauding and both blushed. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!! MIRAI BRIEFS VEJITA, I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR VIDEO-CAMERA TO SMITHEREENS! DON'T THINK I WON'T! THEN I'LL BLAST YOUR SORRY--" He was cut off by Pan's lips covering his. 

Mirai smiled. "YEAH! I'M NOT DEAD YET!" 

The audience slowly piled out of the auditorium and soon only the 9th grade itself was left. Gohan inspected their flushed nervous faces carefully. "Well, I have to say that was great. Marron ruined it, but Trunks and Pan overcame that ruin. All in all, awesome performance!" 

The class broke out into cheers and Goten took Trunks aside. "You leaving?" "No, Goten. But you and Bura are invited for a space party Thanksgiving!" "Awesome man!" 

Bura looked at them. "So, you're REALLY not leaving, brother?" 

"We didn't ASK you to listen to us Bura." 

"I had too. You were talking about the spaceship business. Of course I'll come along to the party. I wouldn't miss it for the _world_." 

"And I know I'm already invited." Pan said, stepping over to join the conversation. "After all, I gave Trunks suitable blackmail." The group laughed happily. 

Later that night, the two Thanksgiving parties began. _Poor_ Mirai was stuck with Marron at his arm and no peace at all. 

Trunks, Pan, Goten, and Bura were up in space right by a star. 

"Can I sing a song for you guys?" Pan asked the other three, who were comfortably eating ice cream. 

"Sure Pan," was the simultaneous responce. 

"This is called _Drop In The Ocean_ by _Michelle Branch_. 

_Love took me by the hand_

_Love took me by surprise_

_Love led me to you_

_And love opened up my eyes_

__

_And I was drifting away_

_Like a drop in the ocean_

_And now I realize that_

_Nothing has ever been as beautiful_

_As when I saw heaven's skies_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_

__

_And every time I drift away_

_I lose myself in you_

_And now I see I can be me_

_In everything I do_

__

_'Cause I was feeling as small_

_As a drop in the ocean_

_And now I realize that_

_Nothing has been as beautiful_

_As when I saw heaven's skies_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_

__

_Love took me by the hand_

_Love took me by surprise_

__

_And I was drifting away_

_Like a drop in the ocean_

_And now I've realized that_

_Nothing has been as beautiful_

_As when I saw heaven's skies_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes..._" 

Pan finished her song beautifully holding out the last line for nearly forever. She walked over and sat down by Trunks, who kissed her sweetly. 

Goten smiled to Bura. "May I?" "Hai." 

Those two kissed also, all right by a star. 

For a Thanksgiving, this was a very DBZ Thanksgiving. And I hope you remember the moral to this story which was not: 

_Blackmail your older brother into doing whatever you want him to do._

It was: 

_Remember that it takes all kinds of people to make a world. The world doesn't just revolve around one person and it can bounce back if you want it to. Too much stubbornness can make you miss out on the best of things._

~*Owari*~ 

That is, the end until next time, _I Wish You A Very Merry Christmas--DBZ Style_. Caroling and everything--lots of romance too. Revenge is in the making and Marron is now in love with not only Trunks--but Mirai too, who doesn't go home for Christmas so poor Trunks and everybody are stuck with him for another holiday. 

This was Episode One of the DBZ Holiday Saga by _twisted pan_. 


	2. Christmas 1

DBZ Holiday Saga

Episode Two:

I Wish You A Very Merry Christmas--DBZ Style

NOTE: For the sake of the plot, Pan, Trunks, Bura, Goten, and Marron are all in 9th grade.

OTHER NOTE: I just want to remind you, major Marron-bashing involved in this, like its predecessor.

YET ANOTHER NOTE: I had some help with IDEAS from ~*ripple-chan*~. I also do not own the majority of the Christmas carols in this or any Michelle Branch songs, like last time. If I own any songs, I'll say at the very end of this long thingy.

Three weeks after Thanksgiving…

Mirai Briefs Vejita lay down on the couch. Thanksgiving was over--Thank Dende! That Marron Brat was pure torture--so was Bura's homework!

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep without Marron nightmares.

He was rudely awakened by a shout from Trunks, who was running into the room with a very angry expression on his face.

"NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MommEEE!!! I DON'T WANNA HAVE AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PARTY! I'M TOO YOUNG TOO DIE!"

He stopped at the sight of Mirai.

"NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I won't do a THING for you, Trunks!" Mirai ran out of the house cursing at the top of his lungs.

Bulma walked into the room, having heard all the screams. "Now Trunks, you know I have to have an early Christmas party! Why'd Mirai scream, though?"

"No reason…" Trunks blasted out of the room at top speed, leaving Bulma standing there dazed.

"Nani ka?!?!?!?!" She muttered before falling down, face first on the couch.

"Mommy," Bura appeared in the doorway holding a long list of Christmas presents. "Can I show you what I want for Christmas? Daddy closed the gravity room door after I got to number 5,043. But I still have roughly about 5,000 to go."

Bulma promptly passed out.

Bura shrugged, walked outside, and flew to the Son house to tell everyone there.

At the Son household…

Goten paced about. His mom was _ACTUALLY_ considering taking away Playstation for his horrible Math grade.

"Not Playstation! MOMMEE!" He whined loudly. "Not the Barney shirt either!!!"

Chi-Chi stood in front of him with a _REALLY_ angry expression. "SON GOTEN, HOW DARE YOU FAIL MATH AFTER ALL THE HELP I GAVE YOU BE MORE LIKE MY GOHAN-CHAN WHO IS THE BEST EVER IN THE UNIVERSE AND WHY CAN'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME I'LL HAVE TO GET TRUNKS TO TUTOR YOU OOH, GOTEN!!!"

She said all this in one breath.

"No… NOT TRUNKS AS A TUTOR! I'LL NEVER LIVE IT DOWN, NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He wailed sadly.

"Hai. I'll call Bulma--"

She as interrupted by a very loud knock on the door. "Who is it?"

"Me." Trunks' voice was muffled by the wooden door.

"Oh! Just the person I wanted to see! Trunks!"

Trunks gulped nervously as the door swung open. "DENDE I'M CURSED FOR LIFE WHY ME WHY NOT MIRAI OR GOTEN OR MARRON THIS IS SO SAD WHY DO I HAVE TO DIE AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE?!"

"I want you to tutor Goten, Trunks." Chi-Chi said happily, her eyes promising a swift date with Marron if he said no.

"Okay."

Chi-Chi smiled happily. "I knew you would say yes Trunks."

Trunks smiled evilly. "_Oh…_ Go_ten_…"

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Goten yelled, running outside of the house and bursting into the air.

Trunks ran after Goten holding a Calculus textbook. "You forgot this!"

He, too, took to the air.

Meanwhile…

Marron was so excited! Bulma was having an early Christmas party. "YAY!!!" She shouted happily.

Uh-oh!

Danger ahead Trunks and Mirai!

Marron's here!

The sneaky green Namek in orange booties, Piccolo, was _watching_ Trunks and Goten with a video-camera.

__

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's probably planning some sort of secret blackmail. This is seriously NOT good.

Trunks, Goten, catch the sneaky green Namek in orange booties soon!

"DENDE I HATE YOU WHY CURSE ME WHY NOT GOTEN OR MIRAI OR MARRON OR ANYONE ELSE I'M CURSED FOR LIFE I WANNA KILL YOU DENDE SKEWER YOU AND ALL THAT STUFF SHIMATTA WHY DOES GOTEN HAVE TO BE SO DUMB THIS IS SO BORING I HATE THIS GOTEN I HATE YOU TOO DENDE DIE DENDE CURSE YOU I'M CURSED FOR LIFE THIS ISN'T FAIR ONE BIT I'M GONNA KILL YOU GOTEN DENDE AND EVERYONE ELSE I WANNA MIRAI AND YOUR DUMB VIDEO CAMERA YOU'RE NEXT DIE CALCULUS GOTEN YOU MAKE THE GREATEST THINGS IN THE WORLD, WHICH ARE MATH AND SCIENCE, SO BORING SO SCREW YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

Trunks groaned and Goten held up a hand in a signal of peace.

"Sheesh."

Trunks smiled evilly. "And Goten, how do you do Calculus?"

"Um," Goten thought for a moment. "Buy a calculator!"

"No, Goten, you are SO DUMB." Trunks replied, groaning. "Why couldn't Chi-Chi have drafted Pan into this?"

"Someone say my name?"

Like he had called her on the phone, the black-haired Pan showed up at the crazy wacked-out scene.

"Yeah, but Trunks wanted you to tutor me instead of him. He's tutoring me in Calculus." Goten said stupidly.

"Ooh, Calculus?" Pan's eyes gleamed wickedly. "Sounds like _fun_!"

"It's not."

Goten groaned. "I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE NOW WHY DO I HAVE TO DO CALCULUS I HATE IT ITS SO BORING WHY, WHY ME DENDE CURSE YOU FOR GIVING ME SUCH A MEAN MOMMY!"

"I'M CURSED FOR LIFE OH NO DENDE YOU ARE _SO_ DEAD IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE SO NO LAUGHING AND NO SMILING AND I HATE EVERYONE DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT! CURSE YOU DENDE AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREW YOU GOTEN SCREW YOU GOHAN SCREW YOU CHI-CHI SCREW EVERYBODY!"

Trunks delivered yet another screaming rant at the top of his lungs.

"Dang Saiyajin hearing," Pan covered her ears. "DANG SAIYAJIN HEARING!"

"Why DO you two have to rant so much at the top of your lungs about being cursed?" She asked curiously.

Oh no!

Unbeknownst to them, the evil green Namek in orange booties, Piccolo, is watching them with a video-camera!

Will our heroes _ever_ notice him?

Back at the Son house…

"Number 4,567, Chi-Chi," Bura read off her long list of Christmas presents. "_The Spirit Room_ by _Michelle Branch_."

Chi-Chi sweatdropped.

"My favorite song on it is _Everywhere_. It goes:

__

Turn it inside out so I can see

The part of you that's drifting over me

And when I wake you're never there

But when I sleep you're everywhere

You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far

Just tell me why you're here and

Who you are

'Cause every time I look

You're never there

And every time I sleep

You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe

I'm not alone

I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel

It's hard to think that

You might not be real

I know it now, the water's getting deep

I try to wash the pain away from me

Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe

I'm not alone

I'm not alone

I am not alone

Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand

It's then I understand

The beauty that's within

It's now that we begin

You always light my way

I hope there never comes a day

No matter where I go

I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe

I'm not alone

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I catch my breath

It's you I breathe

You're everything I know

That makes me believe

I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see

So tell me

Do you see me?"

Bura smiled as she heard applause from Chi-Chi. "I'm glad someone appreciates my talents…"

"Let's see, we're on number 4, 568…"

Mirai Briefs Vejita was far away from the world in the mountains.

He was here to hide from Trunks.

Trunks was half-way across the world. Trunks probably wasn't about to come storming over here--he hoped.

He sighed and got on with watching out for Trunks.

The sneaky green Namek in orange booties, Piccolo, was flying out of the forest by Trunks, Pan, and Goten's algebra tutoring.

His cape fluttered in the wind and a flock of birds flew into him, knocking him out of the air right into Goten.

Goten fell over because of the added weight of Piccolo and immediately began cursing his head off. "WHY, WHY ME WHY ME WHY ME DANGIT WHY COULDN'T THE EVIL GREEN NAMEK IN ORANGE BOOTIES HAVE FALLEN ON TRUNKS? WHY?"

He had fallen onto a bunny and it was now dead.

Trunks leapt up and tackled Piccolo, who was still on top of Goten. "OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!"

Goten wailed loudly.

Trunks tore up his shirt into a rope and tied up Piccolo.

Pan blushed.

Goten wailed again because he was tied up too. Trunks lifted Piccolo and Goten into the air easily.

He flew off to Capsule Corp with those two in tow and Pan behind all three.

They soon reached Capsule and Trunks dropped Piccolo and Goten on his unsuspecting mother's lap.

"TRUNKS! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING DROPPING GOTEN AND--AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bulma screamed in terror.

"It's the sneaky green Namek in orange booties, Piccolo." Pan and Trunks said simultaneously.

"Mom! Dress him up as the Grinch for your holiday party!" Trunks yelled, an evil grin on his face.

"Okay Trunks." Bulma got an evil grin on her face identical to her son's. "You can go now. VEJITA!!!"

The spiky-haired prince of all Saiyajins appeared in the doorway. "What?" He saw the tied up Namek and Goten and his expression brightened considerably.

"The Namek!"

Bulma smiled. "And you get to help me dress him in a Grinch costume!"

Vejita smiled. "Sounds like fun… Oh! Na_mek_!"

He untied the evil green Piccolo and took off the cape. "Too white. Bulma, dye this red!"

"OKAY!" She ran off to the dyer thingy.

He took off the Namek's orange booties. "Dye these red too!"

He gave the Namek a Santa outfit identical to the Grinch's. "Put. This. On. NOW!"

Piccolo gulped, went into the bathroom, and did as he was told. He came back out just as Bulma was coming back with the dyed cape and booties.

"Put these on too. NOW!"

Piccolo sweatdropped nervously and did that too. Vejita and Bulma roared in laughter at the new clothes of the evil Namek.

They started singing crazily.

"_You're a mean one_

Mr. Grinch

You're a nasty

Evil stick

You're diabolical and plotting

Sadistical and snotty

Mr. Grinch

You're so evil

Less than a pinch

Of humor's in your heart

Big meanie you now are

Mr. Grinch!"

While they had been singing, Piccolo The Grinch had flown out of Capsule Corp, breaking a recently fixed window in the bathroom.

Seems like everyone breaks out of the same place.

"FINALLY!" Goten untangled himself from the ropes and sped off in search of Trunks, Pan, and Mirai.

"THOSE IDIOTS THEY WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO FORGET ME," He whined loudly.

He sped after the unmistakable ki that belonged to the duo.

Trunks and Pan sped up in their search to find Mirai and blackmail him. On the way, they ran into a VERY happy Bura who had FINALLY told Chi-Chi everything on her Christmas list (most of it anyways).

"What you two doing?" She asked them with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DENDE THIS IS SO UNFAIR I JUST WANTED TO BE PLEASANT AND PEACEFUL AND ALL THAT YADDA DA AND THIS ISN'T FAIR I DON'T WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH MARRON I HATE HER I WOULDN'T MIND A DATE WITH PAN BUT THAT'S FAR FROM THE POINT THIS IS NOT FAIR I'M CURSED DENDE I WANNA KILL YOU I DON'T WANNA BE A TUTOR THIS IS SO NOT FAIR GET ME OUTTA HERE MY SISTER'S EVIL, SO'S MY BROTHER SO'S THE EVIL GREEN NAMEK IN ORANGE BOOTIES THIS ISN'T FAIR NOT ONE BIT I WANT OUT, OUT, OUT SAVE ME DENDE THIS IS SO NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR DANGIT I JUST WANTED TO BLACKMAIL MY EVIL AND SINISTER AND DIABOLICAL OLDER BROTHER WHAT'S THE CRIME IN THAT I ASK YOU GET OUTTA HERE BURA I DON'T WANNA BE CURSED AGAIN DENDE I'M CURSED FOR LIFE DENDE I'M GONNA KILL YOU SO, SOOOO FAST YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY GOHAN SAVE ME DIE DENDE DIE MIRAI AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND MARRON I DON'T LIKE YOU I DON'T I HATE MARRON I HATE MIRAI I HATE THE NAMEK I HATE YOU DENDE YOU DUMB GREEN NAMEK DUMBO GOD OF EARTH I'LL BARBECUE YOU AND BURN YOU ALIVE AT THE STAKE AND COOK YOU AND MAKE DENDE-DOGS AND OHH CURSE YOU DENDE I HATE YOU I HATE MY LIFE THIS IS SO NOT FAIR I HATE THIS I HATE THIS DANGIT MIRAI I'M GONNA BLAST YOUR VIDEO-CAMERA TO SMITHEREENS AND I'LL BLAST YOU TO SPACE I HATE YOU DENDE I DON'T WANNA BE CURSED SO GET OUTTA MY LIFE YOU DUMB GOD WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING AND YOU'RE DEAD AFTER I SCREW MIRAI SCREW EVERYONE SCREW GOTEN'S CALCULUS FLUNKING MOST OF ALL SCREW THE DUMB EVIL GREEN NAMEK THAT KEEPS FOLLOWING ME DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANG DANG DANG YOU DENDE YOU EVIL GREEN NAMEK UGLY GOD YOU ACT WORSE THAN MAJIN BUU OH I HATE MAJIN BUU I HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM OOH, SCREW YOU DENDE SCREW EVERYONE SCREW GOTEN AND HIS DENSENESS SCREW MARRON AND HER BRATTINESS SCREW YOU SCREW YOU SCREW YOU EVERYONE I'M GONNA KILL YOU DENDE AND ROAST YOU ALIVE I'M CURSED FOR LIFE ITS NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR IT ISN'T RIGHT TO DIE AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE WHY, WHY ME POOR GREAT GENIUS ME GOTEN YOU DUMBO BURA YOU IDIOT I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE MOMMY WHY'D YA HAVE TO GO AND THROW AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PARTY I HATE YOU MARRON I HATE EVERYONE AND HAVE A VERY HORRID CHRISTMAS DENDE AND EVIL GREEN NAMEK AND MIRAI AND MARRON AND GOTEN AND CHI-CHI AND GOHAN AND MIRAI AND MARRON AND HAVE A VERY HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS CUZ AFTER I GET ALL THE PRESENTS I RIGHTLY DESERVE YOU'RE DEAD DENDE AND NO BUTS ABOUT IT WHEN I GET OUTTA COLLEGE I'M GONNA CONQUER THE UNIVERSE SO BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DENDE YOU IDIOT YOU IMBECILE YOU DESPICABLE GREEN LIZARD FROG DUDE THINGY THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL SO I JUST CALL YOU A WEIRD UGLY IDIOTIC NAMEK DUDE OH DENDE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU TOO MIRAI AND I ALSO HATE YOU MARRON SO SCREW YOU FOR CHRISTMAS AND I'M GONNA GIVE YOU BARF FOR CHRISTMAS YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT I HATE YOU MARRON HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU MARRON SCREW YOU SO BAD, BAD, BAD OH AND I HATE YOU HERCULE I BEAT YOU UP AS A LITTLE KID I HATE EVERYONE, EVERYONE, EVERYONE I HATE YOU DENDE YOU EVIL GOD WHO IS SO EVIL ITS NOT FUNNY I HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU SO BAD I WANNA SKEWER YOU AND KILL YOU AND STUFF YOU DOWN THE DRAIN I'M CURSED BUT I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE HOW CAN I BE CURSED WHY NOT GOTEN OR MIRAI OR MARRON WHY, WHY ME WHY DO I HAVE TO WASTE MY BRILLIANT GENIUS ON DEVISING WAYS TO GET OUTTA TROUBLE I HATE YOU DENDE, DIE, DIE DENDE I'M GONNA GIVE YOU DEATH FOR CHRISTMAS, YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT YOU EVIL DUDE WHO CURSES PEOPLE LIKE ME FOR FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Trunks finally finished the longest rant of all.

"I was just going to visit Marron to tell her Mirai would be DELIGHTED to go out on a date with her." Bura said, grinning.

"Oh."

Pan was speechless for a moment. Then, "DANG SAIYAJIN HEARING I HATE THIS WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO RANT FOR SO LONG I HATE YOU DENDE FOR CURSING ME WITH THE RANTERS OF THE CENTURY WHO I NEVER QUITE UNDERSTAND ANYWAY OOH, DENDE YOU TOTALLY STINK ON ICE YOU BIG NUMBSKULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Trunks and Bura sweatdropped.

"Wow."

*Owari*

This is the end of part one of Christmas. It has only just begun.

I own the crazy rendition of _You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch_.

So, stay tuned for DBZ Holiday Saga Episode Two Part 2: An Early Christmas Party: Bulma Style.

See ya then

twisted panchan


	3. Christmas 2

DBZ Holiday Saga 

Episode Two:  
  
Part Two: 

**An Early Christmas Party--Bulma Style**

****

Goten walked over to the trio semi-calmly. "WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING OF LEAVING **_ME_** THERE BY MYSELF TO LISTEN TO BULMA AND VEJITA'S REALLY BAD SINGING OH, THAT WAS SO HORRIBLE I'LL NOW HAVE NIGHTMARES FOR A WEEK DARN YOU TRUNKS AND PAN YOU DUMB GENIUSES WHO DON'T NEED TUTORING IN CALCULUS HOW LUCKY ARE YOU YOU EVIL FROGS YOU DUMB GREEN NAMEKS I HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU I DON'T LIKE YOU I DON'T LIKE CALCULUS I DON'T LIKE BARNEY I DON'T LIKE THE TELETUBBIES I DON'T LIKE YOU TWO BURA WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE EVIL CONSPIRATORS I HATE THIS HATE THIS HATE CALCULUS MATH SCIENCE TRIGONOMETRY AND EVERYTHING ELSE OH, AND I HATE YOU DENDE I HATE YOU GOHAN O DUMB BIG BRO I HAVE UNFORTUNATELY FOR A TEACHER OOH, I HATE THIS HATE THIS HATE THIS I HATE LIFE DENDE WHY ME WHY CAN'T TRUNKS BE A DUMB IDIOT--" 

He was cut off by a kick to the head from Trunks. "How **_DARE_** you say **_I_** should be dumb Goten!" 

Pan fell over laughing. "Uncle G, what does _unfortunately_ mean?" 

Goten got up from his position on the ground. 

"Ow, that hurt Trunks. I'm gonna stuff a Calculus textbook down your slimy evil--" 

He was, once again, cut off by Pan laughing hysterically.  


"_That's_ what _unfortunately_ means, Uncle G?" 

Bura fell over laughing. Unfortunately for our heroes, they were floating in the air, and its not a good idea to fall over laughing in the air over an ocean. 

_Splash!_

Bura and Pan fell headfirst into the sea, splattering water all over everyone. 

Trunks looked from his sopping wet combat boots to his sopping wet sister and began to laugh crazily. "HA HA HA BURA!" 

Pan groaned. "TRUNKS, GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Trunks sweatdropped. "Okay, okay." 

He pulled her out of the water and she sat soaking in his arms. "I'm cold." 

Wait a minute, our heroes have forgotten the fact that it's **_SNOWING_** and it's **_COLD_**. So has our author. 

twisted panchan is sitting at her computer desk about to rant on and on. "NO!!!!!!! HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN I FORGOT CHRISTMAS WAS IN WINTER AND I REMEMBERED THE GRINCH AND EVERYTHING SO NOW ON TOP OF IT ALL OUR HEROES ARE GONNA GET SICK AND ITS ALL CAUSE I FORGOT IT SNOWED IN WINTER OOPS THAT WAS SO DUMB OH, OUR POOR HEROES WHO ARE FREEZING THEIR BUTS OFF THIS WAS SO MEAN OH, DENDE YOU IDIOT I'M GONNA ROAST YOU ALIVE I'M CURSED I'M CURSED I'M CURSED!" 

twisted panchan finally notices she just wrote this on the fic. "WAHH! I'M CURSED FOR LIFE OOH, DENDE!" 

She runs off muttering something about killing Dende and making Mirai take the blame for everything bad that happens. Marron, too. 

Even DBZ authors can be insane. 

Oh, back to the story... 

Our heroes, a group composed of Trunks, Pan, Goten and Bura at the moment, are all freezing cold. 

"I-I-I-I'm c-c-c-c-cold..." Trunks mutters, wishing he had put on a warmer jacket. 

"I'm c-c-c-c-c-c-c-colder." Pan replies, snuggling into Trunks' not very warm, sort of wet winter coat. 

The author has FINALLY remembered to say the characters have coats. 

Meanwhile... 

Marron is happy. 

Uh-oh! 

That's not good for our heroes! 

What is the evil Marron's diabolical and nasty and sugar sweet scheme? 

Well, if you ACTUALLY want to know, keep reading Part Two of Episode Two: An Early Christmas Party--Bulma Style. 

Now, to Bulma and Vejita who have--FINALLY--stopped singing and just noticed the very visible fact that their prisoner escaped. 

"OOH, CURSE THAT NAMEK!" was Bulma's ingenious and scientific remark. 

"NA_MEK_!" was Vejita's. 

Very intellectual comments, don't you agree? 

Back to Trunks... 

Trunks shivered, then frowned. "I'M CURSED GOTEN THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR SLIMY EVIL FAULT I WISH I COULD--" 

He was cut off by Goten running away scared. 

He sighed, resigned Goten's fate to a very pissed off Bura, and flew off in search of Capsule Corp. Little did our heroes know... 

That **_DOOM_** was on the horizon! 

Chi-Chi drove over to Bulma's in a capsule car, with weird wacky mother radar found Goten, forced Goten into her Capsule Corp car and yelled at Goten all the while stating how perfect Gohan was. 

"GOTEN YOU STUPID RAT WITH YOUR STUPID FRIENDS YOUR NIECE IS SUCH A HORRIBLE INFLUENCE ON YOU SO IS THAT DIRTY SCUM TRUNKS BRIEFS VEJITA WHO SHOULD DIE, DIE, DIE AND SO SHOULD MIRAI BRIEFS VEJITA AND WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE A NICE GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT MARRON GIRL INSTEAD OF BULMA'S OBNOXIOUS BRATTY PAMPERED PRINCESS BURA WHO IS NOTHING LIKE SWEET MARRON WHO DOESN'T HAVE OVER 10,000 THINGS ON HER CHRISTMAS LIST LIKE THAT BRAT BURA OOH, SHE'S SUCH A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU GOTEN WITH HER IN YOUR PATH YOU'LL NEVER BE A GREAT SCHOLAR HOW EVIL OF HER SHE'S SUCH A KNOW-IT-ALL WHO ACTS NOTHING LIKE HOW A PROPER GIRL SHOULD YOUR NIECE ISN'T MUCH BETTER, MY DENDE, DATING THAT HORRIBLE PURPLE-HAIRED TRUNKS WHO IS EVIL AND MEAN YOUR NIECE IS SO EVIL AND MEAN TOO, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU DUMB MOPHEAD CLAN!" 

Goten recovered his wits--for the first time in months. "I'm NOT A MOPHEAD! NEITHER IS TRUNKS OR PAN OR BURA! WE'RE ALL BEST FRIENDS FOREVER TILL THE END OF EVERYTHING EVEN THOUGH WE'RE ALL EVIL AND MEAN! MOMMY, I DOUBT YOU KNOW WHAT A BEST FRIEND IS! MARRON IS EVIL SHE HARASSES POOR TRUNKS AND MIRAI ENDLESSLY!" 

Chi-Chi looked shocked. "M-my little boy, a delinquent..." 

She promptly passed out and Goten _tried_ to drive the car to Capsule Corp and ended up crashing into the bathroom Piccolo The Grinch had just broken out of. 

Bulma came in screaming at them and Goten sweatdropped nervously. The unconscious Chi-Chi had woken up and began to scream. 

"MY LITTLE BOY'S A DELINQUENT HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN WHY CAN'T HE BE MORE LIKE MY PERFECT GOHAN-CHAN OH POOR, POOR ME TO BE CURSED WITH A DELINQUENT FOR A SON I CAN'T BEAR THE AGONY OF IT--" 

She was interrupted by a snicker from Bulma. "Hah, I got ya there Chi-Chi. _My_ son's perfect as you can get." 

"Yeah right. Bulma Briefs Vejita, at least _my_ son's not evil and diabolical and plotting." 

"_My_ son's a genius. Yours is the dumbest I've ever met--well, aside from your husband." Bulma snickered behind her hand as Chi-Chi fumed openly. 

Trunks finally reached Capsule and goggled at Chi-Chi's irate face. "What the..." He flew away at hyperspeed over to where he sensed Pan and Bura's kis. 

Pan and Bura were tracking Goten, who was at Capsule somewhere. "Trunks?" The two were surprised at his sudden appearance. 

"Chi-Chi's gone mental." 

He told them all that had happened starting with Goten hiding behind a chair like a numbskull. 

The girls boggled and sweatdropped. "So... my grandma's gone insane, my uncle's grown scared of chairs... DENDE! CURSE YOU DENDE WHY WHY ME YOU EVIL, EVIL DEMON YOU EVIL LLAMA COW OSAMMY BIN LADLE JAN TENOR ZWICKO EVIL DUDE WHO IS CRAZY AND NASTY AND INSANE AND SCARED OF CHAIRS DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE OOH, DENDE YOU SON OF A COW YOU SOAP OPERA LOSER WHO DRINKS GREEN GATORADE I MEAN, _GREEN_ IS SO DUMB YOU STUPID, umm, who was I insulting again?" 

Pan finally finished a long rant as everyone sweatdropped and went to get ready for the early Christmas party which was on the day before Christmas eve--that day! 

Trunks and Goten put on tuxes and Bra and Pan put on dresses. Bra's was a very fancy blue silk and Pan's was a plain red silk with black beads around her chest. 

They all walked into the party and soon bored themselves to death. Marron was attempting to kiss Mirai while Trunks decided to film them. Bulma was talking with some important dudes and Pan was watching Trunks, Marron, Mirai, Goten, and Bra run around in circles being idiots. 

The party was over after five hours of that torture and it was now midnight, aka Christmas Eve. 

Marron _finally_ kissed Mirai and Trunks got it on tape. The guests were leaving and Trunks started throwing them out one by one. 

*owari* 

Okay, Part 2 is over and I will soon have part 3 up and finished. Sorry for the terrible long and evil delays, aka I forgot and I got bored and stuff like that happened. 

Ja, 

twisted panchan 


	4. Interlude-Oh, Briefs

This musical songfic interlude was inspired by the song "Oh, Mickey" in the cheerleading movie _Bring it On_. Think of that tune while humming/singing/reading Oh Briefs. 

DBZ Holiday Saga 

twisted panchan 

Interlude I:  
Oh, Briefs 

Music starts blasting through loud speakers in the Capsule Corp gym. Pan, Bra, and Marron are standing in the middle of a stage with Goten and Ubu on the sides of the stage. 

Bra and Marron start to dance and the purple spotlight rests on Pan, who holds a cordless microphone in her hand. 

"Oh, Briefs you're so great! 

You're so great you make my day! 

Everything you do and say, 

Make us want to shout hurray!" 

She starts to dance around, still in the spotlight with Ubu and Goten starting to dance with Marron and Bra. Ubu dances with Marron and Goten dances with Bra. 

Pan sings again. 

"Oh, Briefs everything 

That you do is just for me! 

Hey, Briefs 

Oh, yeah 

Hey Briefs!" 

She dances around in the spotlight which is now rainbow colored. Bra and Goten spin around while Marron and Ubu do likewise. A platform begins to rise beneath Pan's feet. 

"Oh, Briefs you're the best 

The greatest one to do your stuff 

You take me by the hand 

And then we start to stand!" 

Trunks flies over to the platform and stands on it with Pan. 

"Oh Son everyone 

Is applauding here for you 

Everyone just wants to say 

Thank you Pan and have a great day!" 

Trunks and Pan stand close and sing the last verse together. 

"Oh, everything you say 

Couldn't keep me away 

You're my today 

And my tomorrow too! 

Oh, yeah! 

Hey Briefs/Son!" 

Trunks sang Son and Pan sang Briefs. The whole audience burst into applause and the dancers all kneeled down as Trunks and Pan's platform went higher. 

Mirai turned off his video-camera and gave the six a thumbs-up. "Way to go! You guys should start a band and use that song! I made it into a music video and you should sell it!" 

The six smile for Gohan's camera and their ninth-grade class erupts into tumultous applause. 

"Oh, Briefs you're so great! 

You're so great you make my day! 

Everything you do and say, 

Make us want to shout hurray!" 

Trunks and Pan kiss and the dancers start dancing once more. 

"Oh, Briefs everything 

That you do is just for me! 

Hey, Briefs 

Oh, yeah 

Hey Briefs!" 

Silver and purple confetti begins streaming down through the open sky and an airplane is seen above. 

"Oh, Briefs you're the best 

The greatest one to do your stuff 

You take me by the hand 

And then we start to stand!" 

Trunks takes Pan by the hand and the two take a final bow as Marron sighs in envy. 

"Oh Son everyone 

Is applauding here for you 

Everyone just wants to say 

Thank you Pan and have a great day!" 

Goten and Bra throw Trunks and Pan into the audience and the two are held up by a throng of people. 

"Oh, everything you say 

Couldn't keep me away 

You're my today 

And my tomorrow too! 

Oh, yeah! 

Hey Briefs/Son!" 

Everyone heads out to a giant pool party in Capsule's HUGE pool. 

*owari* 

So, what did you think of my interlude? The band idea will be used soon so this IS a part of the story and Oh, Briefs will most likely be featured again. 

Stay tuned for news of the band! 

Ja, 

twisted panchan 


End file.
